Raising a child with healthy self-esteem
Lorrie Spanier, BS, LADC, Coordinator of Adolescent Services
CentraCare/Recovery Plus Adolescent/Clara’s House
Think of self-esteem as armor protecting your child against the challenges of the world. Children with good self-esteem handle conflict and peer pressure better. Children with poor self-esteem may become anxious and frustrated when faced with challenges.
How can you help boost your child’s self-esteem?
- Hug your child. Spontaneous affection and love will boost your child’s self-esteem.
- Be honest. You don’t want your child to have an inflated sense of worth — so don’t overdo it.
- Give positive feedback. Even in bad situations, acknowledge your child’s feelings and encourage your child to make a better choice next time.
- Think before you speak. Words do hurt. Praise your child for effort — not just success.
- Help them overcome disappointments. Use stories of your past failures and humor to help your child understand that everyone isn’t good at everything.
- Be a positive role model. If you are overly critical of yourself, your child will mirror your attitude.
- Identify false self-perceptions. Help your child have a realistic view of him/herself.
- Encourage your child to talk to you. Having an open dialogue will help identify problems in school, trouble with peers or other issues that may affect your child’s self-esteem.
- Create constructive experiences. Being involved with activities that encourage cooperation are great esteem builders, such as volunteering in the community.
If you are concerned about your child’s self-esteem, consider getting professional help. Therapy can help a child learn to view him/herself and the world more realistically and help with problem solving. Developing the confidence to understand when you can deal with a problem and when to ask for help is vital to positive self-esteem.